And sometimes you just wonder

Sometimes I believe this is just all in the mind.

I have not been feeling very well lately. I just get random non-specific symptoms. Sometimes I feel nauseous. Sometimes I get this one sided throbbing, tension-like headache. Other times I get neck stiffness.

This morning I could not move my neck. And I thought – this is really, really bad. My head was hurting. And I couldn’t move my neck. I looked out and saw that the snow was not too bad but pain overtook my will to get out and about.

I missed work today. In my utmost guilt.

I guess the problem with my upbringing is that I never missed school. Hardly. No matter how unwell I felt, somehow I was still expected to attend school. There were times when I was so poorly that one of my parents have to pick me up halfway through. Yet, I still made it a point to attend. I don’t understand where this mentality comes from. Now at age 26 with worse immune system and a aged physical body, I simply couldn’t find the strength to carry on.

They say doctors make the worst patients. You bet. My parents are so sure it is stress-induced myalgia of some sort. I suspect it may not be a full blown infection of any sort. Somehow, I have managed to get paracetamol down my system all the time that I actually realised I am running out of my current supply. Then again, maybe all these feeling unwell symptoms are just a figment of my imagination. I don’t think I actually am this unwell.

I cannot be feeling like this. I have 9 weeks to go and I am not even kidding.

Kids on train

I am a commuter. I spend around GBP8 a day travelling in and out to work. I walk over 3 miles a day on top of the 50 minute on train. I am always tired and aching.

So. I have the right to tell more train tales.

Just the other day, I was on the train towards Guildford (via Epsom) when two kids came on board near my destination. The train was pretty empty but one of them chose to sit beside me. They chatted quite happily and suddenly one of the kids looked at me and asked, “Is that a Kindle?”

I smiled politely and replied yes.

I was reading on my Kindle (sorry, just couldn’t resist!) while listening to my mp3. I kept the Creative Stone in the pockets and only the earphones were visible.

“Do you have iPhone?”

“Err.. no.” I was puzzled. Why such a random question.

“Then you have iPod?”

Nosy kids! What in the world did they think they were, judging me as an Apple user.

“I use an Android phone.” I answered, just to satisfy their curiosity.

“Oh, then why do you have the apple earphones?”

AHa! I didn’t think they were quite sharp that way. It made me smile. OMG. First Kindle. Then, these earphones. Bless them! I know they were harmless but the thought of pointing out two things which were given to me by someone particular just made me wonder.. am I still living in his shadows?

I don’t mean it in a bad way. But hey. Random. You don’t want to know what I found in the mailbox today. You really wouldn’t want to know. It left me fuming for 3 minutes.

Let it snow, let it snow!

The last time it snowed must have been more than 13 months ago!

There was one big snow late November 2010. Another one came just days before Christmas. It was unexpected because we were market-ing (no such word but hey, who cares!) at Borough Market when it suddenly snowed…

Forgot whose brilliant idea but snapping a picture with snow in situ was the best idea to date.

If you notice the time imprint on the photos, 10 minutes later..

These three crazy girls wanted to take the District Line from Embankment.. so we crossed London Bridge and the craziest of all suggested to snap another pic!

Some ‘pictures’ not taken must have been those scenes in Waterloo post snow. The hot Starbucks drink in the cold. The shoulders almost brushing each other strolling along Thames.

Ahhh. Memories are best kept this way. Tucked in some photo album on Facebook and not to be dug out until the next time it snows. I have no regrets for what happened one year down the line – especially these recent few months. We grow up. We move on. No more bitterness. No more longing. Just getting used to life. Live as a twenty-six-year-old woman.

Anyway.

I thought I would not have another chance to witness snow anymore (ahem), but it snowed right at this very moment as I am typing this.

I am not the biggest fan of winter but snow in February sounds cool!

Saved by the bell

Gone are the days when I would jump out from bed 0615 to get to the gym for a morning workout. I was still in bed, negotiating with my phone alarm at 0834 this morning. I even set a timer for myself – 9 min 34 secs. Twice! No, no, NOOOOOO.. I really want to sleep….

Especially when I had K beside me in bed. Okay, now that sounds really wrong.

Then suddenly, a long 5 second door bell travelled into my ears and my brain activated the muscles of my eyes (forgot what there’s called.. obicularis oculi?) to open and it struck me that one housemate would be in Cameberley, another in Epsom. I am home alone and someone is ringing my door bell??

I jumped out of bed, grabbed my hoodie (no, not going to let anyone see me in a complete surgical scrub!) and ran down 3 flights of stairs. I was panting by the time I got to the door.

“Parcelforce,” the person quipped.

I scribbled a quick signature (they change every time I sign for a post, btw) and closed the door.

Any Tom, Dick or Harry would have been annoyed, but I was thankful. Almost too pleased. It was a good wake up call. If it hadn’t been the Parcelforce, I would have still in bed not able to pull myself up.

I dashed into the bathroom and had a hot shower. Even treated my hair with the hair treatment thing! And masked my face.

Parcelforce really should have come earlier.. LOL!

Nearly

I woke up this morning still feeling the biting cold. The dream I had the night before was vaguely lingering in my head. It wasn’t the typical Jasper dream. There was YC in it. I was consoling him (!?!?) over some green thing on his arm?? I suspect he made an appearance (rare, I must insist!) in my dream because he suddenly texted me yesterday asking how am I. Tsk.

I finally dragged myself up and out of bed because I need to launder the bedsheet and duvet cover.

I guess it has been a miserable day because I am still not fully acclimatised to the cold.

The whole day today, I have been reflecting on my lack of working out. It has been like this for a couple of months. The total lack of gym. I have stopped all memberships and even though my housemate offer for me to use his, I still find absolutely no motivation to even move. You don’t have to mention the face getting rounder and I have to move up in clothing sizes to me.. I know it very well. But the motivation just remains sub-zero. As cold as the temperature!

I am not sure why I am behaving this way – I think it is really genuinely hard to pick it all back up.. especially when you stop for a length of time. How in the world did I have the motivation to go for back-to-back spin and Combat? How did I manage to con Jasper for a session that left him in excruciating pain??

I don’t know, I really don’t know how to get them all back. With exams lurking around, my brain just can’t seem to multitask.

Sigh.

After April, perhaps?