Of hope and love

My sis Lynthia turns 20 today. I would like to wish her a happy and blessed birthday. She got her gift already.. it is a Acer Aspire (or was it a Travelmate?) given by the university. So currently, she has got two laptops! One running on Vista, another on Windows 7. I wonder what micro processor is it.. I3? I5? I7?

Anyway. I am still tired.

WAIT.

Did I just ban myself from saying I am tired?

I have a whole post on “in denial” which I shall write tomorrow, hopefully. Goodnight, world.

I thought I have recovered. But I guess I’m wrong. But anyway, I had 4 cycles of sleep last night. I woke up 4 times.. midnight, 2am and 4am and finally 5.30am.

The first cycle was uneventful. I must have dreamt but I can’t recall. I woke up to read a text and went back to sleep.

The 2nd and 3rd cycle dreams were just odd. I dreamt that my cousin was pregnant and within the span of the dream, there was a baby. We were swimming in the Marriott swimming pool and our detached (kinda chalet looking) house was in the Marriott Hotel compound. I had to carry the baby (was a GIRL!) in the water. There was a scene where I realised I didn’t dress appropriately to swim (OOOPSSSS..)

What is haunting me: Miri Marriott Hotel, Paediatrics coming up in Surrey!
What I truly yearn: Parenthood?

Then, the second part of the dream also had the setting. This time, it was my 3rd degree cousin who invited me to her wedding. I was surprised she even invited me. She said her husband was in-charged of the flowers arrangement (and they all looked like bushes of flowers!) while she was responsible for the guest list. Her dad told me that the newly wedded couple were supposed to stay at Seven Hotel (???) which was near the airport. I only know a 4Point near the airport.. definitely not 7! But I was told it’s a new hotel.. (okay……….)

What is haunting me: My nevergoingtohappen wedding/marriage
What I truly yearn: My nevergoingtohappen wedding/marriage

The verdict?

I think I probably slept too much!

My resolution now is to stop telling people I am tired. I will just pretend I am not. Coming, perk up LX! You must face the reality. Life is not virtual reality. Maybe there are such a thing like Online Schools, but for now, you have real life school. Or uni, for that matter. Online schools can wait when you are in a different line. As for now……

Back to eating oats and drinking unsweetened tea everyday for breakfast, and perhaps also for dinner! As contrary to what my housemate thinks about my oat-eating habit recently.

My other housemate is back with a new laptop. My sister received a new laptop from her university. Makes me wonder.. when should I upgrade mine? Looking into various brands of laptops.. they range from the oh-so-cool Apple to the innovative Asus.

But hey, I just got myself a humble laptop cooler, hoping it will prolong the lifespan of my current one. Beggars can’t be choosers, can they?

Meanwhile, US Open has started. Do I even have time to follow!? ANSWER IS OBVIOUS.

Okay, this isn’t fun. The workload is endless, the burden of the course sits heavily on my shoulder. All of a sudden, I ask myself, “Why chose this?”

I do not look forward to the prospects of running around arranging things to observe or participate in just in order to get a sign-off from the consultant in-charged. I hate having to meet deadlines and knowing that sometimes, you are just in a helpless position.

I was so worn out that I dozed off at 11pm last night just to wake up at 4am. Jet lagged? I am not sure. I wish I could have a holiday forever. Maybe a Branson vacation or something like that. Working so hard in life make me wonder…

Where has my passion gone?

I am back in *DRUMROLLS* London!

Sigh. I am sighing because I am really in the lazy mode and can’t help but feel severely fatigued. The flight was not something I enjoyed. I tried sleeping but the seat was not the most comfortable seat in the world, so you can just imagine.

Sigh.. When I got back, everything was the same.. the curtains, the blinds, the carpet.. it feels like I have never left the place. But at the same time, I refuse to come back.. because it is coming back to reality. Home isn’t perfect, but at least it was pretty worry-free (except for some glitches here and there). I think reality is something I always wanted to avoid.

Last year when I just landed here, it was the same twisted feeling. Now, I am feeling the same, but at another level. I know it is a lot, a lot of hard work this academic year. I cannot afford to fool around like I did last year.. ‘Til then, I need energy boost!